Forgive Me, For I Have Sinned
by LovingUWithoutUKnowing
Summary: "My love for you has never been ordinary. It has always been insane, corrupt, and sinful." A compilation of Kurt's feelings for Blaine in the category of the seven deadly sins.


_Haven't written a one-shot for awhile and then suddenly, while writing BaHM, this came up. Hope you like it! It's a little angsty though...and there is a little smut here..._

_~ Mar_

* * *

_Sin_ (noun)

1. A transgression of a religious or moral law

2. Something shameful or wrong

3. An irresistible emotion of humans to offend against a principle, standard, ect.

4. An act that violates divine will.

5. An evil deed.

* * *

I opened my eyes, gazed at you, and closed them. Your glare dug deeply into me, and revealed the once-concealed feelings of mine for you. It was as if you were digging through my brain, with a stick that poked at my thoughts, feelings, and emotions. You found them, the ones that you were looking for. It didn't take long until you understood what they meant.

Since the beginning, my love for you has never been ordinary. I have constantly loved you more that I was obliged to. But the love I feel for you was a requirement for my life. Without it, I would slowly drift away and decade in a dark corner. Even then, I would still be wishing that I could love you more.

Being with you is a sin, but a very sweet sin. It is not an artificial sweetness, but a long lasting, genuine feeling that makes me crave for it.

* * *

**_Envy:_**

You were always flawless in my eyes. You were hand-crafted into perfection by the Almighty. Everyone, and I mean _everyone,_ looked to you as an example and precedent for their lives. The men flourished under your leadership and your perseverance while the women love your beauty and magnificence inside and out. You spoke with an air of intelligence, as if you had a line for everything. Your charm escaped from you with ease, making everyone wonder how perfect you really were.

I envied you and your qualities. I wanted them for myself. There were no ways at all to receive it—other than to fall for you.

I loved you because I envied you and your individuality. I wanted them all for myself.

* * *

**_Greed:_**

I didn't know how our relationship would turn out until I experienced it, so I did. That came to a simple conclusion:

_You were mine_.

And mine alone. Your eyes, your smile, laugh, body, and mind all belonged to me. I didn't want anyone and I didn't want anyone to have you. I possessed your soul, your love, and I felt that I was lucky to have the slightest taste of it.

Your whole heart, mind, and soul were mine. You had realized it as well, hadn't you?

Because, if I couldn't have even a tiny piece of you, I would feel appalling and miserable. Those emotions would lead me to thoughts of abandoning the world and leaving everything behind.

I don't know about you, but…

_I choose life._

_My life with you._

* * *

**_Lust:_**

I had always lusted for you in numerous occasions. Your charm, your smile, and your words that so intelligently strode from your lips. You used to captivate me, having me against the wall, while you stroked my sweating face and had your hands on the belt of my jeans. I slung my head backwards, closing my eyes as my trembling body was exposed to you. You examined me with those possessive eyes of yours, and approached me carefully. I tried to hold back my vulnerability and tears, but they couldn't help but fall down my pale skin as you forced yourself into me. I kept on a sensual face, as you played and toyed with me until the sun finally rose. I had looked to the climax to that event as well as I had lusted for it to happen.

After the night of endless love, I felt tired yet restless. Though, I always found the power to overcome the emotions and sorrow I feel. A part of me, however, notified myself that I was being overly sinful, yet I didn't care. I lusted for you, and your sweet _delicious_ love.

"Kurt…" You whispered to me that night, as you bit my trembling ear. "I love you."

Those were the words that I've always wanted to hear. But a part of me wondered if they were false. I denied that part of me, telling it to shut up and go away.

* * *

**_Wrath:_**

There was once a time when I feared you. I feared that I would disappoint you, and you would have me under your ignorance for what seemed like forever. I remembered the time I had disobeyed you, and let life get in the way of our love. You punished me under your wrath, and had me in pain for as long as I could remember. I longed for that pain however, because I loved you, and there was nothing in the world that could change that. Your wrath was painful, yet it was something to look forward to.

Even though you were mine…

_I was yours as well._

Sometimes, I felt you had more possession over me than I had over you, but…it didn't bother me at all.

That's because, I _wanted_ to be yours. I _wanted_ to give myself to you, so I could be under your bitter sweet _wrath._

* * *

**_Pride:_**

When you received my love, I was proud—proud that we would be together. I valued you strongly, proud that you had chosen me for your lover, out of all the potential lovers in the world, you chose me. We, as a duo, were undefeated. We didn't care about what the others said. We held power that was unbreakable and unstoppable. I was over-confident about our relationship and love. I placed most of my value and dignity on it as it became the biggest achievement of my life.

I'm proud of your love, Blaine.

* * *

**_Sloth:_**

I must say that, sometimes, I'm lazy to love you. I get over-indulged in love occasionally, that I had just wished that I never had loved you in the first place. It had felt impossible to live on when you didn't fulfill my wish for the night, or, if you said something displeasing to me. To be truthful, I was tired to hear those words, but, I knew, in order to be with you, I had to.

Your love brings a blessing and a curse. You would hurt me with your words, and I would feel it strongly until it eventually faded away. I didn't want to admit it, but at times, I didn't want your love. Now and then, I would feel like I would be better off without it. My life would be a straightforward and effortless item instead of a tangled mess. I relied too much on your love, and that led me to laziness, and indolence.

* * *

_**Gluttony:**_

An over-indulgence and over-consumption of you brought me to crave your love every second of the day. I was hungry for your love, and that hunger made me feel like I was worthless. I felt weak without you, I felt as if I can't do anything without you, and I felt worthless without you.

Most of my current strength was from your love.

You forced your lips onto mine. I felt your hot breath tickle into my mouth, and that feeling caused my knees to weaken. It was getting harder and harder to breathe, so I finally parted my lips from you, hoping that you would forgive me for it.

Forgive me, Blaine.

* * *

**_Forgive:_**

A sin is an emotion that humans cannot control. We can't help but sin. Sin is human. Therefore, I cannot control my emotions for you. Even though I tend to rebel and inflict these revolting sins onto you, I do not regret it. Because I know in my heart, everyone possesses traces of envy, lust, pride, greed, gluttony, wrath, and sloth. It's enjoyable to think that I'm not the only one.

Falling in love with you wasn't gravity, it wasn't force either. There was nothing to make me fall for you. Instead, it was simply me; I had chosen to love you, and to enjoy these seven deadly sins with you.

What an interesting choice.

* * *

_I hope you like it. :)_

_~ Mar_


End file.
